The hardest part (so far) of my plan | #49

I'm still trying so hard to not try so hard

Hey friends!

At the beginning of February, I set a 90 day goal:

To teach myself to make animated videos that people would happily pay thousands of dollars for.

So far, I've

• picked a format I think I'll enjoy creating that seems to have market demand,

• done some research on what makes a "good video" in general, and

• came up with some video ideas to practice that format.

Theoretically, I'm on the 2nd to last step: make practice videos to create a portfolio. (The last step is pitch clients until I'm in business.)

But... I've been on that step for about 11 days now. What's jamming me up?

On the surface, it's because I've been busy. I took on two new clients.

The real answer is because I'm overwhelmed with irresistible, delicious, crunchy ideas. Ever since I started thinking of video ideas, I haven't been able to stop. So many open browser tabs and random notes on my phone.

Yesterday, to attempt to recover some sanity, I started making a list of them.

It's already at like.. 30 or so. Every time I look at that list I get more ideas. A cursory glance will reveal that idea #5 is actually idea #13 but with a twist, and the twist itself is an idea.

Upon that revelation, I just want to cancel all my plans for the day and flesh out that idea. The rabbit hole beckons me HARD.

It's been both one of my greatest sources of joy and one of the biggest sources of friction in my professional life. I still don't know what to do about it. I'm sure I can leverage it somehow, but the how is not clear to me, yet.

Anyway, I'm going to indulge myself a bit by talking about some of those ideas I can't stop thinking about. The biggest theme is trying too hard.

I'm hoping that, in the process, my blocks will reveal themselves. In this newsletter:

• Story #1: Salsa dancing

• Story #2: Sex

• Story #3: Blind Karaoke

• Story #4: Nick Gray's cocktail party

So, trying too hard. What the heck does that mean? I thought trying too hard was good? When is it not good?

I've written about this a few times already.

Story #1: Salsa dancing

I tried salsa dancing. I was bad at it.

I wanted to be good. I didn't want anyone I danced with to think dancing with me was boring.

"If I could learn maybe 8 moves or so, that would last me a whole song, and I wouldn't be boring."

I told one of my friends that. She said, "it's not about how many moves you know, with that mentality you'll never know enough moves."

I knew she was right to some extent. It reminded me of something my brother (a trainer at a gym) told me:

"The day you start lifting is the day you become forever small."

Which is a hat tip to the idea that no matter how far you climb, you'll always compare yourself to a greater ideal.

But, I figured I need at least some skill to not be boring, right? So I ignored the advice.

Story #2: Sex

A few weeks ago, a sex worker and sex researcher called

Aella

made a post soliciting questions about sex.

I think she's really smart and honest, and I respect her a lot. So, I asked her: what does trying too hard look like with respect to sex?

I loved her response:

i'm not sure i like this frame so much? Or maybe there's a lil rephrasing of it that would feel better.

i've been doing lots of interviews with women where i ask what makes sex good, and often what they say is less about the tryingness about the man and more like... where he is when he tries, if that makes sense?

when i first read your question my intuition was to say 'more trying is always better. try more, try harder - but above all, try *smarter*'.

like, the 'pressure to orgasm' is the example I gave in Pt 1:

How To Be Good At Sex: Starve Her Brain (pt1)

and the solution to this isn't try less; it's more like get a good grasp of what's going on and then try cleverly?

not sure if this all makes sense

I think this sentence is a great summary of what's going on:

the solution to this isn't try less; it's more like get a good grasp of what's going on and then try cleverly?

When people say say, "don't try too hard," what they mean is don't fixate on any particular thing. Keep grounded, expand your awareness, think things through.

Which is totally what I was doing: fixating on the number of dance moves I knew.

Story #3: Blind Karaoke

The other day, I was at a Valentines’ day party. There, we played this "guess the lyrics" Karaoke game.

One person sat beside the TV, not looking at it, trying to sing the song that was playing. Everyone else faced the TV and saw the lyrics. We took turns being the person in front.

I couldn't help but notice the stark dichotomy between myself and another player.

She was having all the fun in the world. Even when songs came on that she didn't know, she just made up lyrics.

I, on the other hand, felt self conscious that I didn't know them. Instinctually, the frame I adopted was:

• if you don't sing the lyrics, you're "getting it wrong" and you're "doing bad"

• if you get it wrong, you're embarrassing yourself, and it's boring for others to watch you

• if your performance isn't good, you'll get replaced with someone who does better

When my turn was over, I said something to the effect of, "damn, I lost."

My friend (the same one who told me it's not about the moves) said, without missing a beat:

"no, it's just not your turn anymore"

And it was at that moment that I, once again, realized I was trying too hard.

DAMN IT!!!

Story #4: Nick Gray's cocktail party

A few days ago, I went to one of Nick Gray's cocktail parties. He wrote a book called The 2 Hour Cocktail Party: How to Build Big Relationships with Small Gatherings. He's known for throwing great parties.

There, I got the chance to talk to a few people who own or work on big YouTube channels.

Wanting to do some research, I asked them if they hired animators. One said he looked into it, but that it didn't seem worth the price.

Ali Abdaal said something similar when I talked to him about animation back in May of 2023.

So, it occurred to me: am I trying too hard here, too? Am I fixating too much on animation itself?

I remembered my YouTube research: 80% of the success of the video comes from the idea and 90% of the success of a thumbnail is psychology.

It's probably not about the animation.

And now, you're caught up to where I'm at in the thought process.

I've started asking myself: what game do I want to play and is that the game I'm playing right now?

What is my goal again?

If it's purely for fun, it seems like I could just keep doing what I'm doing. Exploring and writing about ideas. Animating is fun, too, it just takes such a long time.

If it's for profit, it seems like my best bet is to focus on finding the best ideas and packaging. Past that, everything else (including animation) seems like window dressing.

What does it look like to optimize for both fun and profit?

My knee jerk reaction here is to conclude that's too hard of a question to answer right now.

All I know is that

• animation is fun,

• it's a good way to stand out from all the talking head videos, and

• if it's vetted from a marketing perspective, it can succeed.

So, I should stick (at least somewhat) to the plan. Learn to animate, learn to market.

It doesn't have to be the same audience over time. I don't even have to stick to animated videos.

I just need to put in the reps and solidify some kind of process and results.

Okay, I guess my next action steps at this point are to close all the loops in my mind, pick some ideas, and MAKE THE DAMN VIDEOS.

I gotta take the browser tabs and phone notes and coalesce them into my big list of ideas. And then organize the list. And then see which ideas speak to me, I guess.

Okay. That's it for this week! Thanks for hearing me out.